A few months back I made this felt board for my son. Nothing too fancy, just framed white felt and lots of cut colorful felt shapes. The frame is some cheapo one I picked up from Ikea. I didn’t tack the felt to the cardboard backing but I highly recommend doing so (either glue of your choice or staples being careful not to go all the way through the cardboard) or your child might have more fun continually pulling out the felt backing than playing with the shapes (as my son did).
This is a simple, fun and fast project that is perfect for pulling out on rainy days or for use during those transitions where you need your child occupied (dinner prep anyone?).
Lately the weather here has been uncharacteristically gorgeous for the NW and we’ve spent oodles of time outdoors either at the park, on walks, bike rides and pulling up buckets and buckets of weeds. I’ve done no planting (yet) this season, but our planter boxes look dang good. Now to tackle our yard strip, a particularly sore spot for the neighborhood. I’m somewhat positive that our 800 year-old neighbors who still manage to keep their lawn meticulous will throw a party once we tackle that beast.
I’ve been taking lots of “indoor” activities outside like painting for one (sorry about the porch Hon) and we’ve spent many afternoons soaking wet thanks to our “water table” which is just a hand-me-down tempered glass patio table that I top with bowls and miscellaneous kitchen utensils, rocks and the like. I’ll pretend it hasn’t affected our water bill. These photos are from last year (he’s so little!), but the idea is the same.
We’ve also been really into bug collecting, which reminds me that this slug
currently sitting on my kitchen windowsill is in desperate need of fresh air.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Speaking of things sluggish, I haven’t been blogging much lately, clearly, and I can’t say why exactly. But the novel I’m about to explode upon you might be able to shed some light on that. I don’t think I’ve wanted to post about the above stuff, without acknowledging the stuff that lies below.
I love being a stay-at-home mama. Adore it. A-d-o-r-e i-t. But…
sometimes it’s lonely. Okay, often times it’s lonely. And the repetition of ordinary household tasks: laundry, dish washing (have I ever mentioned that we don’t own a dishwasher?), grocery shopping and the like can become tedious, bordering on depressing at times. Lately I’ve been feeling incredibly antsy, flitting from feeling content in the ordinary, to just plain bored.
Then I look at how lucky I am to have the luxury to be able to choose between work and full-time mothering that I feel racked with guilt at the brattiness of it. Some days I have the patience of a saint and allow my son to bag every piece of produce and other days, well, I just want to buy the fucking lettuce. And then there are those glorious, pure-happiness moments, which I experience many times per day of being able to just “be” with my son, and move about our day at his pace. And in truth, when I can stop to enjoy the moment and not judge myself, it’s bliss. I feel blessed.
That said, the past month I’ve spent my evenings re-watching the Sex in the City series/movies (as evidenced by my obsessive interest in designer accessories c/o of my Pinterest boards); watching those four self-sufficient working women awakened something in me…a desire for something…more. And I’m not just referring to Jimmy Choos.
Every now and again I have the thought that I could go back to work part-time (pretending that finding a super flexible, super part-time job in this economy would be cake), but I don’t want to give up time with my son, for a variety of reasons, one being the fear that when looking back, I’d regret that choice. Or perhaps when the time comes where I’d like to seriously re-kindle my career, I’d regret not keeping one foot in the door. This cycle of thoughts keeps plaguing me these days. I’m not even sure a job is the answer. Re-reading my words here, it all seems…whiny. I acknowledge my life is not wrought with seriousness. Thankfully.
No wait. I don’t want to be apologetic about my feelings. It is hard work serving others 24/7 and finding enough balance to care for yourself. Everyone deserves to feel well-rounded, in whatever capacity that means for the individual, myself included.
So there you have it. The tangled mess that is my mind these days. The modern day Betty Draper Syndrome. I won’t mention the ringing (banging, clanging, pounding) biological clock either. Oh wait I just did. Oh, and I won’t pay much attention to the food bender I’ve been on as well (and the many pounds that I’ve packed on), because I’d like to caulk it up to boredom and indecision, move on from that and concentrate on not using food as therapy from here on out. I’ll use you instead. Smirk.
So my question for the fellow SAHM’s out there, or scratch that, working mothers included,
how do you balance your life as a mother without losing sight of your goals, desires and aspirations as a woman? Or for those as clueless to those pesky goals and aspirations as I am, how do you balance your time? What roles or nourishing activities do you partake in, or you’d like to partake in, that keeps you feeling like the witty, sociable, intelligent, in-the-know and sexy woman that you are?
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12 Responses to “diy felt board and (spastic) musings on motherhood”
So, nothing you’ve said here is monumental. Wait, that’s not the word…unusual? What I mean to say is you’re having a really universal struggle, which doesn’t make it less important or significant, but makes you very much not alone. My hubs does a lot of the house work, he’s a star with the laundry. But every morning I wake up before I drop Anna at school and unload, load, and put away dishes and man, that shit beats you down. It’s Groundhog Day stuff. When I read this blog I love seeing the sweet, magical things you do with your son, but I also can relate to that feeling of loneliness. Working from home is so quiet, and so isolating. There’s nothing bad or wrong or strange in what you’re considering right now, you’re a smart cookie, you’ll work it out.
That was long, huh?
Thank you Brenna! And long yes, but probably not compared to epicness that I leave you with after your wonderfully crafted posts.
OMG!!! The fucking apples! Just put them in the bag for pete’s sake. I still need to fill this cart so that the rest of us don’t starve. I dread the market because I know this is a teaching moment, but someone forgot to mention that teaching moments take A LOT OF TIME!
I keep talking to the (few) girlfriends I have about where is the miracle job that both satisfies me and lets me get my kids off the school bus every afternoon. They keep reminding me that it only exists if I have the drive to start my own small business and be prepared for it to grow. Eh… guess I’m too lazy or just too darn tired after wiping butts and correcting homework every day.
p.s. I wondered where all that awesome Pinteresting stuff was coming from. Should have known it was Sex and the City. I am seriously the slouchiest mom in my neighborhood. Moms around here are pretty fashion savvy (ie:wealthy).
Apples! HA! I really have to gear myself up for trips to the grocery store. Sometimes I’ve started trying to go more frequently in order to have shorter trips, but they always seem to take the same amount of time. I’ve thought so much about starting my own business but totally – I’m so wiped at the end of the day, especially with this no-napping thing, that all I want to do is sit down with the laptop and peruse Net-a-Porter. Curse Carrie and all that talk about fashion! I’m a total addict now. I’m thankful I don’t live where moms are pulling off the latest trends. That’s at least something I don’t feel as though I have to keep up on!
Oh Kim… I’m so there! Balance?! I don’t think there’s ever balance, honestly. I know I haven’t found it. I’m so glad you shared this with us. I don’t know how many times I’ve sat down in front of this darn computer and wanted to put my frustrations into words and ended up just erasing it all, thinking I was the only one feeling lost and just so dang tired of changing diapers.
Wonderful! I remember having those feelings.
Go get “A Mother’s Heart” by Jean Flemming and 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp. There’s another book, that I didn’t like quite as much, but it is called “Loving the Little Years” (I forgot the author of the 2nd one). They are all simply amazing. They all helped with my perspective on mothering 100%. Besides that, we all struggle with this as a SAHM, but it’s when I’m struggling that I realize that being discontent there is letting evil win in my life. I was made for the purpose of loving my family and taking care of them in this way and no one else is going to give the attention and love and things that your own children need than you. Everyone else will be a hired hand and will only do as much as necessary to take care of them, but YOU, dear sweet mama, will do EVERYTHING necessary to take care of them and THAT is what truly makes the difference, so don’t ever belittle the fact that YOU are home with them. You get them ONE TIME and then it’s gone and you can go work your heart out if you want some other way! haha! For me though, I do try to get together with other SAHMs for play dates or outings to the zoo or whatever and that makes for fun social time for me, too. Otherwise, just do what you love every now and then and it will restore you back to where you love to be!
Anytime you want to chat about this stuff I am here… at HOME…. haha!
Oh man, I could write and write and write on this subject, you are so not alone! Being a mom is the most challenging, rewarding, thankless, exhilarating, boring, exhausting, love-filled, lonely job I’ve ever had. It’s a roller coaster that sometimes you just want to stop, for like a few minutes. Long enough to catch your breath, maybe shave your legs. I think it is totally normal to love it, be grateful for it, and still want more, a little something for yourself. I flip flop between crazy ambition and feeling totally stuck. Someone needs to create some sort of awesome job all us crafty mamas could do when we have time and feel like it. Too bad blogging doesn’t pay big bucks, because you rule at it! I recently read a cool article, this entrepreneur mom said forget “balance,” because it’s damn near impossible, and aim for “making it work” instead. Thank you so much for sharing, it’s always reassuring to know that you’re not rowing the boat alone. As for the felt board, you motivated me to get off my butt and actually cut into all the felt I bought for just that purpose. Jude loves it. I wish we were neighbors, then we could bitch and laugh and plan while the little ones built houses out of felt.
I’ve often contemplated the irony of feeling so alone when I am almost literally never alone. It’s what first drove me to the land of blogging. I recently contemplated going to work part-time again as a librarian (which is what I truly love to do; I’m fortunate to have found my dream-job-outside-of-home). The girls wouldn’t have to be in daycare; they would have spend more time with Dad. But in the end my husband got a better job offer, and I was actually thoroughly relieved that I could continue to be at home. As much as I love the idea of leaving the house for a while, when it came down to it I didn’t want to. I kept thinking of all I would miss out on. Sure it would be nice to actually shower and dress nice on a regular basis. And I’m sure it would benefit my girls to be around someone other than just me all day. I just haven’t figured out the perfect way to accomplish that yet. So we’re kind of in the same boat. Blogging is where I mostly go for some intelligence and wit in my day. I love that my blog gives me a reason to write (though I haven’t done much lately). And I love to hear other mothers (like yourself) speaking intelligently about motherhood and homemaking, which reminds me that I’m not just a drone, but there is much purpose and mindfulness and care put into what I do (usually!). And, when all else fails, my husband can usually tell when I absolutely need to get out (it’s pretty obvious when I’m screaming like a crazy woman, I guess) and he’ll say, “Why don’t you go for a walk or get a coffee?” Which is usually enough to bring me back to myself for a while.
hi kim!
balance? ha! someone above me here said, “don’t aim for balance. aim for making it work.” yes.
i’m mostly an at home mom, but i also work part-time and i do some stuff for my husband’s business and i teach my kids at home and i do a lot of our yard work and i wish there were about 6 more hours in every day. everything i do right now is for somebody else. really. and mostly i love that and i know that i only have about 12 more years with my kiddos. that’s really not a lot in the grand scheme of things. so i better do a darn good job with these years! and not give into the pity-party too often.
i know i feel better about everything when i’m eating well (you are an inspiration in this area – even when you admit you haven’t done so well – and my hubby and i started paleo yesterday. we have a 30-day goal right now.) and when i get somewhere near enough sleep and when i spend time outside and when i decide that my house doesn’t have to look like something out of a magazine, it just has to be comfortable and clean enough to be healthy.
so. those are my thoughts right now. i’ll be back again.
i hope today is one of the better ones!
Thank you for this post! I have been feeling very alone and frustrated as a sahm lately. It helped to hear that I am not alone in my feelings. My husband works and is in grad school, so I frequently feel alone even when he is home. Finding the time to do ANYTHING for myself can be a challenge (my son is 16 months). I don’t even have many other moms to talk to, as most of the (few) friends I have either don’t have kids ( and don’t want them), or their kids are all grown up ( in their 20’s and thirties). Some days I think of going back to work, but then I know I would miss my time with my son. I feel like such a winer to say anything because it was my choice to stay home. I could write a novel on this so I will end now and just say thank you again for helping me to not feel so alone.
If you figure it out, let me know! It seems that blogging has become the modern SAHM’s portal to the outside world, fulfilling a larger purpose (if there even is one larger than raising children) in this world. I also blame society, namely the CW and shows like Sex and the City, that fail to portray SAHM’s as the witty, sociable, intelligent, in-the-know and sexy women that they are – as you so aptly put it. Cheers!