Category: My Weight-Loss Journey

sweet and sour

March 23rd, 2012 · Bambino Steps (Kimberly) ·

So, it’s been quite awhile since I last posted about my journey towards weight loss and ideally, vibrant health. Oh you guys. I’ve been struggling. Yawn.

As I type this I’m chowing down on this epic chicken/green bean/carrot/turmeric Crock Pot concoction that I made last night, and it is so freaking good, but the only reason why I’m eating it and not the gluten-free/vegan cheese pizza that I’m craving, is because I’m too lazy to drive the four blocks to our local pizza shop.

In this instance, laziness is a good thing.

And that my friends, pretty much sums up what has been going on with me, health-wise, over the past few months. Cravings, and giving in to those cravings a bit too frequently, makes me crave not-so-great food even more. And that not-so-great food (namely sugary, processed, and gluten-free baked goods), has left me feeling less than energetic, a bit depressed and even moody. Duh.

Last week I got a wake up call when I clocked in at 158 pounds, a seven-pound increase from my lowest fall/winter weight of 151. Not a huge increase in my book, but that kind of slip tells me that I need to get back on track, fast, before there’s a zero added to the end of that seven. A potentially very real scenario for me.

So what to do? What to do? Own up, forgive myself, make changes and move forward. Perhaps easier said than done, no, definitely easier said than done, but a few key behavior modifications are all that’s needed:

  • Very limited, if any, processed foods
  • No sugar (except for a bit of honey now and then)
  • More green vegetables
  • More healthy fats (mainly coconut and animal) to keep me full
  • More sleep and exercise

And once again, I have to recognize that this is a journey. A marathon, not a sprint. And damn it all, I have to give myself major credit for coming as far as I have. Focusing on my slip-ups and should-haves instead of recognizing my everyday victories simply triggers a nasty case of emotional over-eating.

I cannot expect perfection from myself. No one should.

So for now I’m going to forgive myself for my near-nightly ritual I’ve had as of late: eating Kettle Chips and pastries while watching back-to-back(to-back-to-back) episodes of Hoarders. Honestly? The rebellious streak I was on has lost its appeal.

Right now I’m trying to move through the cravings and really focus on all the kick-ass progress I’ve made since last June. And hello, while my weight-loss has been stagnant for nearly two seasons, this is perhaps the longest I’ve “maintained” my weight as an adult. I kid you not.

This image of me is from December, standing in the rain, enjoying Stumptown, while waiting in line at Voodoo Donuts with a friend.

I did not eat a donut.

PAT.ON.THE.BACK.

(never mind that I have serious issues with gluten. It’s still a choice.)

And lastly, I’ll leave you these photos. The first from last April. The second from January.

The last thing I want to do right now is beat myself up for having a few too many pizzas, by eating more pizza.

Victory will be mine!

Or perhaps, victory already is mine.

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i am the biggest loser

November 4th, 2011 · Bambino Steps (Kimberly) ·

Since early July I have been participating in an online Biggest Loser-esque competition that my mom’s friend puts on several times per year. Well…I won. First place. A cash prize. Me. I am the biggest loser.

I don’t remember my winning weight, but the number below reflects my last weigh-in.

And while I gave you an unannounced sneak peek earlier this week, here’s a few full body shots.

I have so many new thoughts about my weight-loss and instead of diving into a 1,000 word monologue, yet again I’ll try to make my random thoughts appear more organized.

  • Holy shit I am in the 150’s.
  • That seems small.
  • That still seems huge.
  • I am fully aware of the term “skinny fat.” Let me say that I don’t think I’m skinny. I know I’m still quite chubby. But if I keep losing weight at the rate that I am, before long, I’ll be skinny.
  • But if I don’t start exercising, I’ll still be fat.
  • Fat. Fat. Fat.
  • Wait, didn’t I start this journey to be healthy? To focus on health and not appearance? To squelch the inner dialogue of thinking skinny vs. fat and feel, nay, be…healthy?
  • Oh right. Crap.
  • My motivation seems off.
  • And come to realize it, I actually appear thinner and healthier in my last weight-loss post, even though I was 10 pounds heavier. What gives?
  • Perhaps it’s from inflammation.
  • Perhaps from all the cheating I’ve been doing the past few weeks by way of corn tortilla chips, gluten-free pizza, dairy on said pizza and Halloween candy that has my priorities all askew and my gut inflamed.
  • And is mainly why I feel like a big pile of poo these days.

It’s time to get real again. Time to turn over a new leaf and re-motivate. Time to focus on healing my gut and not my pant size. I acknowledge that adhering to my own damn “secrets,” will help everything else fall into place. I’ll want to feel healthy, want to allow myself adequate rest and want to *gasp* exercise. But how does one re-motivate once they’ve spiraled? When one goes on a bit of a bender, it can seem so difficult to get back on track. Especially a recovering food-aholic, and especially one with food intolerances. My solution is to focus on hitting my goals at least 60% of the time. Because before long I’ll start to feel better and that 70, 80, 90, 99% will become easier to achieve. And when I’m hitting my mark, I feel on top of the world. Weight-loss is a journey. What I’ve learned thus far is that:

  • Simply knowing what needs to be done without taking action is simply wishing and hoping for change, which is an old “unhealthy-me” habit that ultimately leads nowhere. In other words,
  • one has to stop wishing and hoping and act in order to bring change.
  • So…

Here’s the part where I commit to honoring my body by staying away from my food intolerances, eating healthy, getting to bed early and starting an exercise regime. Here’s the part where I build up a bunch of positivity and perhaps, motivate someone else to make a change. But I’m just not quite there yet. I’d be a big phony if I attempted to craft some epic monologue like that. Honestly guys, I need a bit more time to detox from sugar and lack of sleep before I’m capable of that right now. But I’m slowly heading in the right direction. The key is to continue with that momentum, no matter how small. Follow that kernel of desire to change. Refuse to spiral. So now that you’re all semi-pumped up from this post, I’ll leave you with these parting photos.

I might not be this yet, but over the past five months, I’ve come a long way.

Right now I really need to reflect on that, relish in my progress, celebrate it, like truly celebrate, in order to continue making positive steps towards change. I deserve to focus on how far I’ve come, and not how far I have yet to go. Bambino steps.

How are you doing in your quest for health?

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three secrets to weight loss

September 8th, 2011 · Bambino Steps (Kimberly) ·

First off, feet are weird. Secondly, I am now in the 160’s. Granted if I had like a sip of water I’d push back into the 170’s but hush now, I AM IN THE 160’s! For those keeping tabs on my journey, that means that I have lost over 40 pounds, the majority of that occurring within the past three months. This also means that I am at the half-way point of my weight loss goal. In all honesty I hesitate even posting that I have a goal at all, because I truly just want to feel healthy and be active. So if I end up being smaller or larger than this, that suits me fine. So what does 169.8 look like?

K. I realize I have yet to show you a full body shot. Later. I promise. And PS I don’t think I’m cool. Taking photos of yourself is seriously awkward.

I will share my three key secrets to weight loss later in this post, but first I want to reflect on what my mind has been going through, a roller coaster to say the least. Weight loss is not just about the shrinking number on the scale; with each pound shed, the emotions that caused me to gain that pound in the first place seem to wash over me. It takes true courage to allow all of the emotions surrounded with weight loss to surface, deal with them head on, and then release. But that’s how one heals from the inside out. I still have a long way to go, both physically and mentally. Here’s a little recap of this little loop-de-loop of self discovery:

  • Some days I wake up, look in the mirror, and feel like a total sex pot. I am really starting to notice my loss.
  • Other days I’m extremely inpatient. My mind is ready for vibrant health, yet of course my body can’t lose the weight and heal my gut overnight.
  • Then there are days where I feel like the weight is coming off too quickly and I start to panic. I feel more exposed. Those are the days that I unkindly remind myself that I am disgustingly fat and these stretch marks I’ve accumulated will always render me heinous. Nice eh? I wouldn’t even utter those words to my worst enemy.
  • I’m paying more attention to fashion, purchasing little baubles, fussing with my hair and wearing make-up. A complete 180 from the past three years. It feels good. Like the “old” me. It’s incredibly fun to dote on myself like that but…there’s a fine line between self care and vanity. I’m currently walking that tight rope. But I will allow myself to feel good, to feel proud, and to hold my head high…because I am worthy of that. This oldie has been playing through my mind these days.

We are all ruled, to a certain degree, by our internal dialogue. Half the battle is becoming aware of the negative self talk and squelching its nonsense whenever possible. The other half is to remind yourself of this: I am strong. I am beautiful. I am worthy. And in my case: I am woman, hear me roar.

Three Secrets to Weight Loss

If you’ve made it this far, I think it only fair to share my three secrets to weight loss. Which really are not secrets at all, but plain old common sense. The days when I feel most alive, energetic and the scale complies, are the days when these three things have aligned:

  1. Sleep
  2. Food
  3. Fresh air

That’s the magic combo. Throw some good company and a moment to myself in there and I’m spazzing out hardcore. A natural high. There is no secret elixir for optimal health out there people. It’s just good plain self care. I don’t claim to be perfect at hitting these three points on a daily basis, in fact I regularly fail at #1, but making sure to add these into my life more than what I was doing before, has helped me drop those 40 pounds. No one is perfect, and no one expects you to be perfect, except for yourself. The key for me is to forgive myself when I make a mistake, and then carry on.

What is your magic combo? Or which of the three “secrets” would you like to improve upon?

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love and light

August 16th, 2011 · Bambino Steps (Kimberly) ·

I’m sitting here, with tears streaming down my face, happy tears, joyful tears, in utter amazement at all of the incredibly kind, powerful and positive comments that I received on my last post. Reading each and every one (uhh…many times) has caused my heart to swell, and I swear I’m actually beaming. Seriously. I had a post planned for today, a recipe actually, but like, how can one just continue posting about regular stuff when I just received such an outpouring of love? It was felt. Deeply.

For those of you who are new to this blog, or even to those who aren’t, I need to warn you: I’m not a niche blog. I’m simply much too spastic to post about one topic. So, if you’re coming here to check out my latest sewing project, please forgive if I post endless recipes. And if you’re coming here for a weight-loss/exercise update, or delicious grain/gluten/dairy/soy/sugar-free recipes, I apologize for frivolous posts about my new favorite fabric. I promise I’ll get back to your subject of choice soon.

Lastly, I have said it before, and I’ll say it again: I have learned so freaking much from you guys (or really I should say girls), about your passions, skills and experiences, including those who do not have blogs, and I know this is going to sound insanely cheesy, but it has made me a better person. I’m not so afraid to try new things, throw caution to the wind, and make mistakes. I get energy from you! I am so honored every time I receive a comment, so excited that someone wants to share with me. I’m a dorky, giggly mess. I truly do want to create community in this space. I want to continue learning from you, and I hope I can bring something new to you as well. I cannot express my gratitude enough. So I’ll stop here. You are the best.

PS – I had not lost any weight in 7 days, but the morning after I hit publish, my scale showed 175.8, a 2.6 pound loss. It’s gotta be from your positive energy.

PPS – For a couple weeks now I’ve been tweeting like mad. I try to tweet a photo of every meal, so this is a great way to see what a Paleo diet looks like. And if I skip a meal, it’s because I’m in public or because I’m being glutinous and eating like 17 slices of salami which I did yesterday. Sigh. No one wants to see a photo of that.

PPPS (I promise this is the last one) – I created a new category to record this journey towards health, it’s called Thrive, and located just below the banner. I know, could I get any more ambiguous?

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the journey begins

August 12th, 2011 · Bambino Steps (Kimberly) ·

This was me five years ago, after losing 100 pounds. Age 25.

At the start of the summer I celebrated my 30th. And yes, while it was my birthday, and the cake was gluten-free,


I assure you, I did not need that cupcake.

I’m not gonna lie. This post, this topic in general, terrifies me to make public. But showing these photos and my obvious struggle is worth any momentary embarrassment because the topic couldn’t be anymore relevant. According to the CDC, 33.8% of Americans are obese; some studies suggest the amount is more like 68%. I’m so done being part of this statistic. After downloading the above image one night, I was floored. I remember thinking “How did this happen? I promised myself I would never be here again.” It took two more months and a health crisis (food+intolerances=nasty symptoms) before I was ready to make a serious change. That crisis led me to my current solution.


Myself, currently

I’ve lost 32 pounds since that “fat photo” was taken in April. I’m pretty stoked. But like I said, I’ve been down this weight loss path before. In my early 20’s I weighed 230 pounds. I lost 100 and it changed my life. But then something changed. I started listening to those nasty voices in my head again, telling me I still wasn’t good enough or thin enough, eating those foods my body craved, but it doesn’t tolerate well, and I gained weight. I’ve tried so hard to be a gorgeously confident, self-assured, Big Beautiful Women, but the fact of the matter is, I know that if I actually felt good about myself I wouldn’t be a Big Beautiful Woman. You can’t fix a body you hate.

I’ll honor self love at any size or shape, truly, but for me, being at a healthy weight is self love. I want to focus on that this time around, and congratulate myself with each pound lost, walk taken and apple eaten. Celebrate every bambino step, rather than focus on the steps left to take. And I want to feel worthy enough to continue showing myself love when I slip. It’s so easy for me to accept defeat and then spiral out-of-control rather than take things in stride. But life is not perfect, and I am not perfect.

My current weight. Dude, I had to do this to show progress people. Please be kind. Personally I’m stoked.

So that’s where I’m at. I hope you will follow along on this journey with me and hope that at best, it will inspire, and hey, at worst, it will amuse. I’m totally aware that my path to health might not be your solution. And that’s fine. I hope you do whatever feels best for you. I’ll continue to share my discoveries and the ups and downs of this journey, and I would be so honored and inspired to learn about yours. Who wants to join me?

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